an excerpt from my last instagram/facebook post ~

“medical school is hard. it’s by far the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, and probably one of the most difficult things a person can do- besides journeying through their own soul. med school is having out of body experiences trying to learn the inner-body, it’s countless hours of study, reflection, and tears. to me, medicine is dedication and discipline- an amana (sacred trust/responsibility) to my studies and to the people who will be entrusted to my care. medical school is a lot, for a lot of reasons. if I don’t respond to your text, if I forgot to FaceTime, please have some grace. it could be that I had an 8/10hr study day. it could also be that I took a mental health day and did nothing. it could be a million things, or anything, for me or for anyone- and that’s why we need to have compassion- with ourselves and one another. I/we make mistakes everyday, but I’m trying my best; and that’s all I (or we) can ever do~ and I’m so proud of that…. Ya Lateef…”

Medicine is difficult as is, but I think the social context in how it’s studied makes it harder. I’m blessed to be able to study medicine in the comforts of my own home, with my parents and siblings beside me. However, with comfort comes convention. The same expectations, and prior roles of daughterhood/sisterhood/personhood sometimes stand. And that can strain a med student’s internal and external realities. It’s a reality that I’m navigating still, but I know I’ll figure out in due time, inshaAllah.